Macarthur Park is the greatest song ever
Before I start with my rationale why Macarthur Park is the greatest song ever, I would like to issue a challenge to all those who read this title and thought "Heheh, Sam's being ironic - like that stupid pile of semi-musical horse shit is even worthy of the title of WORST song ever" to prove, logically, empirically and definitively with reference to at least TWO respected scientific journals, why it is not the greatest song ever. It cannot be done. Therefore, logically, it simply MUST be the greatest song ever. But for those sceptics who would like to throw my own arguments back at me, asking me to prove my own points, well I provide you with the WHY.
REASON NUMBER ONE: It was sung by Richard Harris. How many songs can claim that they have achieved this incredible feat? Well, eight, it seems. But of all the songs in the world that are generally regarded as 'the greatest ever', virtually none. (Although "How to Handle a Woman" did once make it to number 834 on the 'most popular songs ever' list produced by the national recording company of Malawi). Anyway, the fact that Macarthur Park was sung by Richard Harris in itself makes it the greatest song ever, as found by Vingerhoetz et al. in the distinguished and really down-to-earth empirical scientific journal, volume 34 issue 2, September 1968, which stated that "Any song made by anyone who isn't Richard Harris is NOT the greatest song ever"
REASON NUMBER TWO: It is about a cake. This is singly the greatest idea in the history of music since some guy said "Hmm, I think I'll invent music", and what's more is that writing a song about a cake is incredibly difficult in itself. But what makes this song even greater and therefore intrinsically worthy of the title 'greatest song ever' is that in this case, the cake is simply used as a metaphor for what was seemingly a nicely fulfilling springtime romance with a young person of the ladyship persuasion that was tragically fated, and will never happen again. The brilliance of using the cake as nothing more than a metaphor is a mark of absolute genius that alluded such other similarly themed opuses as "Pat a Cake, Pat a Cake" (Although there is a rumour that this latter song is very subtly and sinisterly a revelation of who really assassinated JFK). Furthermore, this metaphor is joined by the greatest simile ever put onto parchment, "Like a stripey pair of pants".
REASON NUMBER THREE: It's really, really long. Often this would be considered a downside but in this case, since it is a song about a cake, it is a feat worthy of smacking the ground with one's violently-dropping jaw in absolute awe. It is barely even imaginable the idea of being able to insert one line about a cake into any song, let alone drag out a song about a cake for seven minutes plus. Just imagine John Lennon trying to produce an extended version of "Imagine" to include the bridge:
Imagine there's no cake
And no chocolate icing or whipped cream either
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one...
Would that work? Of course not. But in the case of Macarthur Park, not only does the cake theme MAKE the song, but it transcends the whole song. This is more than a song, ladies and gentlemen. It is art itself.
REASON NUMBER FOUR: Unlike all other songs, it is actually ENHANCED by being played on the tabla. This is not because the song by itself is poor, but in the same way that it being about a cake makes it so much better than it would be if it weren't about a cake, an otherwise unbeatable, perfect song is only made better by being played on an obscure, non-musical instrument from the Asian subcontinent. It is the genius of Richard Harris' original version that makes the original absolute perfection and yet made better in subsequent, tabla-involving recordings. No other song can claim that it anticipated further recordings to the point where it was perpetually destined to be improved in this way.
I hope I have put you sceptics in your place. No other song, in the history of everything, can claim to be by Richard Harris and use a cake metaphor as its primary theme. This stands in the face of any contrary evidence and proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Macarthur Park is the greatest song ever. It is a sad fact that Richard Harris is now no longer with us, and knowing that, like him, we (the human race I mean) will, indeed, never have that recipe again.
REASON NUMBER ONE: It was sung by Richard Harris. How many songs can claim that they have achieved this incredible feat? Well, eight, it seems. But of all the songs in the world that are generally regarded as 'the greatest ever', virtually none. (Although "How to Handle a Woman" did once make it to number 834 on the 'most popular songs ever' list produced by the national recording company of Malawi). Anyway, the fact that Macarthur Park was sung by Richard Harris in itself makes it the greatest song ever, as found by Vingerhoetz et al. in the distinguished and really down-to-earth empirical scientific journal, volume 34 issue 2, September 1968, which stated that "Any song made by anyone who isn't Richard Harris is NOT the greatest song ever"
REASON NUMBER TWO: It is about a cake. This is singly the greatest idea in the history of music since some guy said "Hmm, I think I'll invent music", and what's more is that writing a song about a cake is incredibly difficult in itself. But what makes this song even greater and therefore intrinsically worthy of the title 'greatest song ever' is that in this case, the cake is simply used as a metaphor for what was seemingly a nicely fulfilling springtime romance with a young person of the ladyship persuasion that was tragically fated, and will never happen again. The brilliance of using the cake as nothing more than a metaphor is a mark of absolute genius that alluded such other similarly themed opuses as "Pat a Cake, Pat a Cake" (Although there is a rumour that this latter song is very subtly and sinisterly a revelation of who really assassinated JFK). Furthermore, this metaphor is joined by the greatest simile ever put onto parchment, "Like a stripey pair of pants".
REASON NUMBER THREE: It's really, really long. Often this would be considered a downside but in this case, since it is a song about a cake, it is a feat worthy of smacking the ground with one's violently-dropping jaw in absolute awe. It is barely even imaginable the idea of being able to insert one line about a cake into any song, let alone drag out a song about a cake for seven minutes plus. Just imagine John Lennon trying to produce an extended version of "Imagine" to include the bridge:
Imagine there's no cake
And no chocolate icing or whipped cream either
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one...
Would that work? Of course not. But in the case of Macarthur Park, not only does the cake theme MAKE the song, but it transcends the whole song. This is more than a song, ladies and gentlemen. It is art itself.
REASON NUMBER FOUR: Unlike all other songs, it is actually ENHANCED by being played on the tabla. This is not because the song by itself is poor, but in the same way that it being about a cake makes it so much better than it would be if it weren't about a cake, an otherwise unbeatable, perfect song is only made better by being played on an obscure, non-musical instrument from the Asian subcontinent. It is the genius of Richard Harris' original version that makes the original absolute perfection and yet made better in subsequent, tabla-involving recordings. No other song can claim that it anticipated further recordings to the point where it was perpetually destined to be improved in this way.
I hope I have put you sceptics in your place. No other song, in the history of everything, can claim to be by Richard Harris and use a cake metaphor as its primary theme. This stands in the face of any contrary evidence and proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Macarthur Park is the greatest song ever. It is a sad fact that Richard Harris is now no longer with us, and knowing that, like him, we (the human race I mean) will, indeed, never have that recipe again.
posted by Sean's Beard at 1:39 AM
4 Comments:
"i found it inquisitive"?
cake songs are great. i once helped write a song about chocolate cake.
...
yeah, it seemed like a good idea at the time. also i was 10.
great post as always!
#1
How many songs can claim that they have achieved this incredible feat? Well, eight, it seems.
It seems you forgot his second album "The Yard Went On Forever", also all Jimmy Webb songs sung by Richard Harris.
So far it has a one in sixteen chance of being the best.
#2
It's not about cake. It's how a man can conceive, and achieve, grandiose ambitions as a result of touching eternity through first love (see Van Morrison for more details), and even so, it can all be washed away in the rain LIKE A CAKE.
#3
If John had him, Paul, and George shredding on a double-time bridge, I'm sure they could have gotten "Imagine" up to seven minutes. (see "Hey Jude" and "The End" from Abbey Road).
#4
"Smoke On The Water" is also enhanced by being played on the tabla, as long as an accordion is involved.
I am dying to know who sang back up on the original Richard Harris recording. If anyone knows, please tell me. I have a very good reason for asking. I'm actually looking for the names of the male back up singers.
Thanks!
Hello. And Bye.
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