Wednesday, May 04, 2005

The other type of "Experiment-gone-wrong"

Hello there (Presumably whilst holding cup of coffee and stroking dog in front of fireplace and ommitting articles from sentences)

I'm currently sitting in Griffith Taylor room 543, posing as a psychological experimenter and waiting for subjects to arrive. Subjects that were supposed to arrive at 12:00. The present time being 12:23, something tells me they just aren't coming. There are several reasons for this: Firstly, this clashes with a lecture for PSYC 3202 which it seems, nearly everybody who does third-year psych does. Largely because it's compulsory for honours entry. (Why I'm NOT doing it is another story). Secondly, the people who were supposed to be subjects I believe were only informed they were to be subjects, and when and how they could do so, yesterday, or late the day before. Thirdly, well I don't know but I wanted to have more than just two reasons why I'm so pathetically sitting alone in this room, occasionally opening the door to check outside for friends. Or rather, *if reading aloud, please change to high-pitched Eastern European accent during the next sentence* new victims for my ever-growing army of undead, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Anyway, the scheduling for this particular experiment is so bad that even my fellow experimenter couldn't make it, and hence I really am rather sad and lonely right now. Of course, the rational and more inventive side of me is saying that since obviously nobody is showing up, I could easily toddle across the road and sit in Manning for half an hour or so... But the lazy, stubborn side of me says two things, firstly that since I'm giving a presentation in here at 1, why not just stay and ''prepare"... and secondly, that maybe, just maybe, someone will turn up... If not a subject than at least an Alicia Silverstone look-a-like who got lost on her way to a dress-up-as-a-Playboy-bunny party... I think I should probably stop there.

It's amazing how philosophical you can get while sitting in a psychology tute room with nothing to do and nobody to talk to. It's basically not-at-all. It's actually quite mind-numbingly tedious.

Fortunately however, there is the blog. And this particular entry has killed about ten minutes of the time I have left. Just in case you wanted an update, no, still nobody here. Maybe I'll do the experiment myself and pretend to be a subject. I could really screw up our results that way, BWAHAHAHAHA (See that's so evil even a MWAHAHAHAHA wouldn't have sufficed) the power of being an experimenter!

How cool would it be to like, do all experiments on animals that are viewed as unfeasibly unethical these days, like sit there, strap them in and shock them endlessly, just to see the effects of unusual and cruel punishment on rodents. Or even cooler, I could do it on humans. I know they're always saying you'll never get published that way, but just imagine, doing experiments like that, finding so much about the effects of cruel and unusual punishment, and then centuries from now some alien archaeologist unearths the remains of my studies and says wow, this "Sam" creature sure made huge advances, even WE haven't discovered such things about cruel and unusual punishment, and being an alien species living in the distant future we're obviously far more advanced and intelligent than the rest of his species was supposed to be, he must have been much smarter than his brother Jeremy, hey let's bring him back to life by using technology, he shall be our new God...

I think I accidentally slipped into Simpsons regurgitation there... Well apart from the brother Jeremy bit, that was all my original creation, all hail my genius. Or in the words of Oscar Wilde, all hail my Guinness.

God I'm bored.

4 Comments:

Blogger Ang said...

Poor, bored Sam. While you were gone, nothing particularly interesting happened, so don't worry. Oh, except that Bec, Adam and Tim were all there and we had cool and nifty escapades,not to mention adventure, excitement and really wild things. Also, I think gold bricks were involved at some point...

May 4, 2005 at 4:38 AM  
Blogger Catie said...

aha! i finished my essay and it's only 5 am... and too long... yay! *falls asleep*
no, that wasn't relevant to anything, just felt like telling someone.

May 4, 2005 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Sean's Beard said...

Yes and of course, by the way I forgot to mention my brilliant alternative hypothesis for my cruel and unusual punishment experiments which is that I predict that after undergoing such treatment, subjects will be afraid of being strapped in tight and being shocked repeatedly, and will hold deep resentment towards me.

May 4, 2005 at 11:33 PM  
Blogger Ang said...

brilliant!

May 5, 2005 at 12:21 AM  

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